Ahhh…. this week I fell in love with a guitar. Well, yet another guitar. Hopefully the last one for a while.
My current guitar has served me well, but for months, I’ve suspected that the time to move on was getting closer. My first guitar was a lovely black acoustic, but after a while, I wanted more than it could give me. A brand-new acoustic with more features and a better sound beckoned, and the black one was traded away in a heartbeat. I’ve had this new one for a mere two years. It has loyally soldiered its way through a number of lessons, as well as a few tentative appearances outside of the confines of my music room. Lately, though, I’ve been frustrated that my guitar hasn’t allowed me to play certain things in the way that I want to. I know I can’t blame the instrument for all of my shortcomings. When I was a child, learning piano, it was easy to devote hours and hours to it, but as an adult, my efforts at guitar have had to fit into tiny slivers of time. I am still not nearly as good as I want to be, and I might never find the same many-layered connection that I have with the piano, but I’m going to keep looking for it. And if this guitar isn’t going to let me find it, it must be time to let go.
The first guitar that I asked to try at the music store was beautiful, but didn’t quite feel right when I played it. The second one was a little better, but still not what I wanted. I tried a couple of others, and looked around at the rest hanging above my head, but nothing else caught my eye. Then, one was brought out to me that seemed perfect: the chords fit well under my hand, the size was just right, it looked and sounded great, and it had way better features than the one I was giving up could offer. I wanted to say “Sold!” right then and there, but I knew I didn’t have enough money in my guitar fund yet. Yes, my guitar fund. I’ve been saving up for months–well, I started saving at Christmas, had to spend it on groceries in February, and restarted in March–and as of right now, I have less than half of what I’d need. While I could just pull out my credit card and bring it home, I am making myself wait, because I have spent so much on music in the last couple of years, I think I need to restrain myself a bit. There is some tension in that decision. This is a used guitar, one that someone else took the time to break in, and they thoughtfully left a hard-shell case at the store to go with it. So this is essentially a one-time deal, and if someone else takes it home before I do, I will miss out. Period. The same thing brand-new would be way out of my price range, so I would have to let go of the idea of that guitar and find another to fall for.
Why is it I even feel that I need a new guitar? It isn’t my main instrument, and I’m only just getting comfortable enough to play it a little in public. Somehow, it is calling me, and when music calls, it is oh-so-hard to ignore. Sometime, I will get a new guitar, even if it’s not this one. And maybe one of these days, I will get the message that God keeps trying to get through my head: “Be patient!!!” He’s got a plan, even if I can’t figure out what it is. So, I will just try to relax and ride it out. And I will try to stop talking to my husband about it, before I drive him crazy with it. As a non-musician, he has to put up with a lot. In the end, it’s just a guitar, right…? But not just any guitar… Sigh.